On Foundations… (Help Wanted)

“She’ll be grown before you know it.” I don’t know how many times I heard it after the birth of our firstborn, but these (almost) six years later, the truth is beginning to hit me. I should have seen it written on the wall. But the writing on my walls has always been in crayon, and I’ve just always scrubbed it off with a Magic Eraser.

Now the dark-haired baby girl who made me a mama, is a blue eyed blond, and the oldest of four. She went from bouncing in her seat and bouncing off the walls, to bouncing the baby, wiping the table, and writing me love notes. On paper.

These days are are chaotic and beautiful. They are humbling, hilarious, terrifying, and above all, fleeting.

Mention this near anyone who has grown children, and the cliches start flying. “Don’t blink! They’ll be here today, gone tomorrow, and you’ll have an empty nest!” Sometimes I wish they had more advice for what to do while we’re trying not to blink. How to prepare them for “tomorrow..” for “leaving the nest.”

The world is big and scary. It seems only to get scarier, and I feel like we have way more to warn our kids about, and prepare them for, than what our parents did. We came from a different era. Unless a lot changes in the next 12-18 years, my children will leave the nest, facing a totally different world than the one we faced as young adults.

I know I can’t control what they experience, and how they experience it as adults, but I want them to experience it from a place of grounded-ness. I want them to have a foundation of faith in Jesus, and to stand firmly on that Foundation, strong against anything that might seek to harm or ensnare them.

I read recently that people never notice foundations unless there’s something wrong with them. I’m building on that thought, to say that often foundation issues aren’t uncovered until years down the road. I know parents who didn’t realize they laid the foundation wrongly until their children were grown and gone.

We are trying to look forward now, because we don’t want to be looking backwards at a broken foundation. We are doing our best to lay a foundation of faith for them. We are endeavoring with Gods help to raise children who aren’t afraid to stand alone for what’s right. Children who are strong and brave, but also gentle and compassionate. Children who understand the value of community.

Here’s where you come in. We are in the muddle and mess of young children. We’re not going to get it all right, and y’all are going to notice. If you are observing our life, and see things that need attention, we warmly welcome your input. “It takes a village to raise a child” they say. Well, then I guess we need 4 villages.

We surely don’t want to mess up our children. I know there are lots of things we need to learn. We try to pay attention, but they are growing up like weeds around us, and it’s hard work trying not to blink.

So please. Leave all your best advice in the comments. If your children are grown, what is one thing you wish someone had shared with you? What’s the best parenting advice you were ever given?

Can’t wait to hear from you. ❤️

6 thoughts on “On Foundations… (Help Wanted)

    1. Thank you. We should get together more ❤️ I’d love to let the little cousins play together and make memories like we did. But where to find the time? 🥴

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  1. Even if I had it to do all over,I would probably still make bad mistakes. That’s humanity at work. What I wish is that I would have seen my worth in Jesus and that I didn’t need people approval. That was a side issue I didn’t know I had a problem with, but I wasted a lot of time during the growing years of my children trying to impress and gain approval from people who weren’t impressed. I would spend that time loving on my children,listening to them,asking them questions and playing with them. When they would have questions about why we do certain things,my answers would come from a place of influence rather than my position as mother. I would also spend more time teaching them how to work by making work fun and working with them more. I’m sure there’s more but this us enough for now. Bless you and your little tribe and also Papa Dexter that he could be a father of influence and godly leadership.

    On Tue, Mar 22, 2022, 11:59 PM A Farm Wife’s Reflections wrote:

    > Jeanette posted: ” “She’ll be grown before you know it.” I don’t know how > many times I heard it after the birth of our firstborn, but these (almost) > six years later, the truth is beginning to hit me. I should have seen it > written on the wall. But the writing on my walls ha” >

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    1. This is really good advice. ❤️I want to have a balance of being open to the counsel of others yet not making an idol of man’s opinion. Thank you for your input. ❤️

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  2. There’s so much I could say…. we are still in the thick of it too. But I think one of the most important gifts my parents gave me was the gift of authenticity. They didn’t pretend to be something they weren’t. Who they were at home, at church, or anywhere else was the same person. That’s huge.
    Be approachable. Don’t feel threatened when they have questions about the faith or respectfully criticize how you parent a younger sibling. Be willing to dialogue and let them know that you don’t have it all figured out either.
    Be quick to ask forgiveness. Model both asking and forgiving.
    Remember that as a parent you are who they will imitate. Strive to be worthy of imitation. And give thanks for God’s grace in your own life and also theirs, because we all desperately need it.

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