Recently my parents moved out of the farmhouse, and into their retirement home. During their move, some of my old school books were unearthed, and in looking through them, I discovered a poem that made me giggle. I thought I would share it with you all, and maybe it will at least bring a smile to your face.
But first, a disclaimer:
this was written in the 5th grade, (by someone who had little/no experience with dairying, I might add.)
Now, 16-ish years later, I had to squelch the urge to fiercely edit it before sharing it with you. There is just so much wrong with it, structurally and grammatically… and yes, it includes a scientific impossibility. But disregarding all this, I still give my little fifth grade self an A+ for imagination. 🙂 Here goes: 🙈
“I Can’t Milk May Tonight”
“Johnny, go milk the cows, please,”
Said Mrs. Smith one day.
“And you can go and put these
With the horses’ grain and hay.”
So he took the carrots his mother gave,
Gave the horses some grain and hay,
And he told his brother, “Now you behave,
And don’t you run away!”
Johnny’s father had bought a new cow,
T’was her first time in the dairy,
She looked around and somehow
Thought everything was scary.
She went skedaddle for the field,
She ran with super speed.
To all his yells, she would not yield,
Indeed, she paid no heed!
She ran and bellowed, round and round,
Her eyes were nearly popped,
Her feet just barely touched the ground,
He thought she would have dropped!
He got her in the dairy,
And started tryin’ to milk.
He thought t’would be as easy
As picking off corn silk.
He squeezed and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed,
He thought that he would faint.
“I can’t milk May tonight!” he said,
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!”
He ran and got his Mother dear,
And told her all his troubles,
He’d expected it to go in the pail,
And erupt in tiny bubbles.
So she sat down upon the stool,
And REALLY SQUEEZED that udder,
Instead of warm and bubbly milk-
Out came a stream of butter.
So take a lesson, one and all,
Don’t run your cows too fast.
The more you have to “butter” the cows,
The longer milking time will last! -Jeanette Knicely (age 10)
…What can I say? …I’m gonna go with “You’re welcome.” 😂
Have a lovely weekend, and I can’t wait to reveal the giveaway winner on Tuesday!!!
A Farm Wife's Reflections 
I’ll just say I’m glad to say I’m related to such a talented writer. 🙂
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Oh my… well I had rhyme figured out, if nothing else. Cory thought it was hilarious how I pulled rhyming words out of my hat that really didn’t work, and forced them to fit… “As easy as picking off corn silk?” he said? “How’s that easy?!” 😂 (but thank you, and I hope you are working on more poems for CLP papers!) 🙂
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Oh that’s great!! 😀 I needed something to laugh about after a rough start to my day!
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I love this, Jeanette 😉!! You definitely deserve an A+ for imagination 😃 if my fifth graders wrote like that, I’d be impressed anyway!
Also… I’m pretty sure we’re very close in age!
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Well I’m a 1991 baby:) March 18 to be specific:)
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Really?!? That means you’re just a few weeks older than I am. April 3 ☺☺
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Neat! 🙂 I had wondered about our age difference when I noticed the 91 in your email address:)
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Hilarious!!!!! And somehow, this poem rings a bell!! Lol! 😉 Did Miss Barbara give you an A on that one? I don’t remember that part. 🙂
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It’s not graded, and if I remember right it wasn’t an assignment, I think I just scrawled it in my spare time. I did lots of extra-curricular writing in my composition books… poor teachers. And I wondered why they complained to my parents about my unrealistic imagination… 😂
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Ah, as I read it, I hoped for a certain punch line and I got it…now if only butter came that easily. Or, what about cheese?
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Lol! Love it!☺
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That’s hilarious!
On Fri, Sep 15, 2017 at 11:47 PM, A Farm Wife’s Reflections wrote:
> Jeanette posted: “Recently my parents moved out of the farmhouse, and into > their retirement home. During their move, some of my old school books were > unearthed, and in looking through them, I discovered a poem that made me > giggle. I thought I would share it with you all, a” >
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