Did you ever feel like God was telling you to do something, but you held back because you were not quite sure enough of yourself? Or felt that you needed to reach out to someone but you weren’t sure how?
Well, that’s where I found myself with this post. I have done some writing for a ladies magazine; and for a long time I have wanted to write this but I wasn’t sure how to go about it.
See, when I write something that is extra close to my heart, I like to write in the same way that I speak, and sometimes my speech isn’t grammatically flawless. Sometimes I don’t speak in complete, structured sentences. And after a good editing, it starts to sound like someone else. (Plus I wasn’t sure the people I’m writing this to would even read it there.)
This is a better place for it, as most of you who I write this for, are faithful readers (not because my content is so amazing that you just can’t wait to read it,) but because you are my friends.
Some reasons I didn’t write this sooner were fear of being thought tacky, or offending someone, or making someone feel singled out. That is not my intention at all. God knows my heart and I pray I can write in such a way that you can know my heart as well.
I write this to my single friends. Not just one of you – all of you. Those who are older than me, down to those who are still in high school. Of course if you’re single by choice-as was Apostle Paul- this won’t apply as much to you. But if you find yourself looking around at your dating or married friends and asking God: “Why not me?” -this is for you.
You may see your siblings beginning relationships, and wish it could be you. You may feel like being single is somehow second best to being married. Maybe you look at your life and try to figure out what could possibly be getting in the way of you finding love, and someone to spend your life with.
Many of my dearest friends are single; and I have wrestled with it so much in my mind. I ask God: “why is it that some of us get to be married, have babies and keep house, while others have to wait? And wait. And wait. Especially since most of my single friends show much more depth and maturity than what I see in my own life… I can’t understand it.”
God hasn’t had much to say in response, but I know He has his reasons. The one I came up with is this:
He hasn’t found someone special enough yet. Ok, obviously God knows everything and doesn’t need to “find” anything. But it could be that He isn’t finished preparing that person, growing and shaping him into someone who is compatible with you, not only in your interests and needs, but also to be a strong spiritual leader.
It’s also possible that God can use you better, just the way you are, and marriage isn’t His perfect plan for you. But as you’ve waited for your someone special to come along, He has made you into someone special yourself.
He has given you a caring, ministering heart, and hands that are willing to help wherever there is a need. He’s given you a warm, open manner that makes others feel comfortable sharing confidences, and a good listening ear to hear them out.
God has made you, just the way He wanted you, and then brought you into my life as some of my dearest friends. People who inspire me with your commitment to Jesus, your vision for missions, your sweet disposition, your gift of reaching out to others- (especially the less fortunate,) your interest in the lives of others around you, your… well, I think you get it – I like you! Actually, make that “I love you, and admire you.” My world wouldn’t be the same without you.
As I look at the qualities in which I feel you put me to shame, I think of Apostle Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7. “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy… but the married woman careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”
(I don’t believe this verse is intended to “let me off the hook” when it comes to keeping my walk close with the Lord. Instead, I pray I can take the examples I see in your life and strive, by the Spirit, to live them out in my own.)
You’re probably thinking “Okay, when is she going to get to the sermon?” You know, “5 Things Every Single Should Remember,” or “10 Ways To Live a Fulfilled Single Life,” right?
You’re not going to get that from me. I’m not going to tell you to “just enjoy your freedom, and be thankful for it!” (Okay, so just being honest, giving up that freedom is a MAJOR adjustment, but each time I’m tempted to wish I had it again, I remind myself of how impatient I was to give it up, and that in the big picture its a small matter.)
I’m not going to tell you “Oh just you wait! Once you get married, you’ll wish you were single again!” I haven’t found that to be true, and I want to be real here.
What I will tell you, is this. Please don’t buy into the idea that “single = second best!” It’s so not true! God’s plan is for some people to be married young, some late in life, and for some to be single. Being single doesn’t mean you don’t measure up, it just means that for now, God has other things for you. Maybe greater things!
When I think of you as my friend, your marital status doesn’t even cross my mind. In fact, I don’t even like the word “single.” I looked in my thesaurus for a word I liked better, but I didn’t like any of the options there either. However, I did make a (poorly executed) acrostic, that I think better describes you.
‘Cause that’s what matters anyway, right? No earthly relationship can come close to the relationship we can have with our Lord. I think this verse is really special and encouraging. In Jeremiah 31:3, God says: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.”
I really have nothing new or profound to say to you; I mainly wanted to remind you how important you are to me, and how very much you are loved. Loved by your Maker, and loved by so many more. You are irreplaceble,unique; and your influence in my life has helped to shape who I am.
Just a thought, all earthly relationships have to end at some point, whether it be a breakup, or a death, etc. But our relationship with Jesus will go on, even after death! Even if you are never a bride here on earth, (but oh, I pray you will be!) -we are all the bride of Christ and when He returns for us, we will be with Him forever…won’t that be a glorious wedding day ?!
Be it today, tomorrow, next week, next year… May we all be ready and waiting! Even so, come Lord Jesus! (Rev. 22:20)
Have a blessed day.